Breathalysed

(by Fred Wedlock)

Breathalysed,
Crystals turning green before my eyes
I turn pale as I realise
That I have just been breathalysed.

Suddenly,
There's a copper standing over me
I'd like to deck him but he's six foot three
And I would like to stay alive.

I did something wrong
And I knew it was a beaut,
When he pulled me in
And I parked upon his foot- so gently.

I was sick,
When they got me down the local nick
I've never seen a copper move so quick
But not as quick as I was sick.

They said "We want your blood
For to test for alcohol"
"Go away," I said
"You'll get nothing dracula-a-a-a."

Analysed,
Three hundred milligrams per hundred mil
Now they tell me I'm a mobile still
And I shall soon be penalised.

Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now I'd take back those rude things I say
O big red bus, please come my way.